Subway posters

There are 2 kinds of posters in the New York City subway system. The first is ads, they are more numerous though typically less interesting (except for the public service posters those can be pretty odd), and the second is the public art that the MTA puts up to broaden New Yorkers appreciation of transit inspired and themed artistic expressions. These change from time to time, over the summer there was on in a lot of subway cars of a lady's arm and hand. Her arm was covered in a sleeve with a print of all the rail line symbols. She was wearing a bracelet that was supposed to look like a large suspension bridge and two rings. The first ring was meant to be a cityscape and the second was what I suppose was a subway token (something I have never seen in person) I am not sure what it was supposed to represent, but it wasn't to freaky. The more recent "Art in Transit" poster is far more troubling to me it is kind of a post modern/comic book inspired amalgam of bridges, a couple of skyscrapers that look like they are from Paris rather than New York, and half of the Washington Square Arch. In the center of the poster is a bunny in full stride wearing a bib made out of the same material the lady's sleeve was, and on top of the bunny's back are some commuters, what the fuck. I think it is an homage to bus commuters and animal cruelty or something. First if the rabbit is supposed to be a bus, it seems like it would be a very uncomfortable and unstable ride, and second of all this is the twenty-first century, do we really think that using bunnies for transportation is accpetable? My point is art is great and public art is even better, but those posters suck, and that is all I really wante to say about that.

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God bless America

In the never ending beer arms race, I thought we had to concede defeat to the Japanes with their beerbot. Now I know that I said some disparaging things, but American ingenuity has of course prevailed, and now I regret taking America for granted. USA all the way.


The Hole - video powered by Metacafe
USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA

The problem with math

I never cared very much for mathematics. Arithmatic, algebra, geometry, none of it. When I was a boy I would have trouble with a some of the more theoretical things that some sadistic math teacher was  attempting to cram into my head, I would utter the familiar lament of math students "when am I ever gonna use this". That is a protest that is almost universally replied to with some version of the phrase "grownups useit all the time". This of course is a lie, but a child who is led to believe you can do anything you want to if you just try, can be persuaded that learning how to divide fractions is an important skill for cowboys or firemen or fairy princess or whatever goal that kid might have.
This leads to the two biggest problems I now have with my math class. The first is that it is of course demeaning and unrealistic to think that there are too many complex arithmetic problems someone will be faced with where there won't be a calculator involved. So grading an adult on doing math "tricks" on paper is merely an excuse to abuse the dignity of a grown ass man or women. This little rant is about more than just math being hard (which it isn't) or school being a pain in the ass (which it is) it is about a system of education that can after a decade of indoctrination still leave someone a hollow shell of their potential, while at the same time proclaiming all it wants to do is help him reach his full potential. I will save a full examination of my views about education for another time, but if you haven't thanked a teacher today don't, they deserve a punch in the mouth more than a thank you.

Why I am Joining the rest of the world in hating America

I am a Patriot, check that I was a patriot. I loved America, and though I knew she had her flaws I was willing to overlook them all. I could over look the militarism, I could over look the outsourcing of poverty and pollution, I was even willing to overlook New Jersey. But I can not and I WILL not overlook this latest failing of America.
This is a movie of of a Beer Pouring Robot, that can be won at the Japanese equivalent of Chuck-E Cheeze's. I want no part of a country that has the technology, but not the will to invent these things. Today I am ashamed to be an American.

Comparing apples to apples

Apples are delicious, nutritious, and versatile. They taste great in a pie, cake and kugel form, but they are at their best in whole. When it comes to fruit, there are three categories. The fist is the kind you need to deconstruct with a tool, mangoes, and melons are great but you need get a knife and do some prep work before they can be enjoyed. The second kind doesn't need a tool, but still must be worked on before they can be eaten, like oranges or pomegranates all you need to do is peel them with your hands to get at the sweet goodness inside. The last kind just needs to be rinsed off before you start eating, these are generally the most sensual fruits, figs, or peaches, plums, apricots, pears and persimmon are all fine examples of this type, but best of all is the apple. Apples come into season when you need them most, from late fall through the winter fresh locally grown apples can are available. I think apples are great, there are hundreds of varieties but my favorite is the Fuji Apple. I don't know what it is about the Fuji above all apples, from the Whimsically named Pink Lady, the classic Rome or Red Delicious, the the mealy yet flavorful Golden Delicious, the bakers friends of the Granny Smith and the Braeburn to the insane deliciousness of the Cortland and HoneyCrisp. Apples come in all shades and colors light pink yellow green blue purple red and every hue in between, but a Fuji in its full brilliance will go from yellowish green on the shady side to rather plain dull brownish red. This plain appearance carried through into the flesh where it is a nice golden color, nice but not noteworthy. This is false modest on behalf of this regal apple, because though it may look plain and though is neither very large or very small it is a delight to the rest of your senses.
To eat a Fuji is to indulge in fruity hedonism. It's flesh is satisfyingly crisp once you take your first bite you are all your stress is gone, crunching through a crispy apple can relieve stress. Chewing your way through a Fuji is cathartic like a two minute Club Med vacation. The aromas unleashed with that first bite waft into your senses with the perfume scent of spring. Eating one a Fuji apple in season at the end of winter ,from late January through early March awaken the olfactory center in your brain, a one whiff and you know that the long winter of deadened senses will soon be over. We will all be free of our seasonal prisons, and our seasonal depressions, the days will be longer and the world will be better. Now we com to the taste. Flavorful and sweet with hints of honeysuckle, and a souçons of tartness on top. It is sweet without overpowering you with sweetness, is tart but eating elicits nary a' pucker.
Perhaps it really is just the name. Fuji. It brings to mind mist shrouded snow covered peaks of the orient. Evoking images of Japan, zen gardens and spiritually elaborate tea services. It even invokes those macaque monkeys that take baths in the snow (those monkeys crack me up, but they are exotic, and always look blissfully relaxed)
Eating something exotic without it really being exotic is a treat, a calm in the storm of truly unique experiences. It lets you feel adventure without being adventurous. It is a trip into the heart of darkness, while at the same time just eating an apple.
Whatever it is, I love those apples, and when the season for them is over in a week or two, I will be sad for a moment, but then I my attention will wander to some other produce, but the attraction is never the same, year after year like it is to the Fuji apple.


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Disruptive

Cell phone companies in this country charge between 20 and 40 dollars a month for data connections, and so far people seem mostly unwilling to pay that much for it. That makes me concerned. Why would this concern me you ask? Because in places that lack traditional forms of connectivity, they will jump on wireless and skip the intermediate form of wired internet connections. Take the telephone example. While we here in the west had easy access to landline phones for nearly a century, those in the third world never did. So as we westerners quibbled about cell phone etiquette, and whether we wanted such luxuries, the developing world jumped on the wireless train. It was the first form of telecommunications most of these people had. In the past there may have been only a couple of phones in even large cities in Africa, now cell phones are available to everyone. Those places effectively skipped landline service and went straight to wireless. Now the same thing is happening with the internet. Those places that the internet revolution passed over will leapfrog the west in terms of mobile internet. Cell handsets are very powerful small computers in fact the phone I am typing this on has more computing power than the computer I took to college in 1995.
So what? There are perhaps a billion people in the western world (the US, Europe, and Japan) while there are almost 5 and a half billion people in the developing world. Those people will quickly surpass the west in terms of not only mobile data usage, but the emphasis will shift to meeting their needs over ours. Everytime you take your phone out of your pocket or purse think about how this small piece of plastic and wires will make you obsolete. Think about the way that that phone will betray you because you failed to see its potential. I plan on being on the inside of the coming shift while most of my countrymen will get left behind, fail to evolve, and become extinct in that context.
The good news is there is still time, not much time, but we can begin to halt our slide into cultural obsolescence. We must act quickly. So don't let the 21st century be the century where the west loses out. The way to do that is to start checking your email on your phone, or get movie times, or settle a bar bet by using google from your handset. It really is tat easy. The choice is yours. On the one hand suffer the fate of technological dinosaurs in the other a future bright with possibilities wherever you are.

Sent via wireless device from the future of computing

I am Micah P Cooper

I have a not overly common name, in fact there are 519 more common first names for males in the United States, and only 0.017% of the men in this country have it, and that makes it sound like a very rare name indeed, but numerically there are almost 21,00 American men, and another 2,500 females walking around being called Micah, that equals almost 24,00 of us out there. So chances are most people have met a Micah before they meet me. In addition over 111,000,000 people claimed to have read the Bible, where there at least three different characters named Micah mentioned, including an entire book in the back named Micah (who is my namesake I might add). Given all that information, why is it so hard to remember the preferred pronunciation is Mai-Kuh, not Mee-kuh, mucka, or meh-kuh or mech-a or worst of all Michael. I can forgive someone's mispronouncement on the first meeting, on those occasions I just gently correct the person, and even on the second offense, but there are people I know who I have dealt with for literally years that are unwilling to allow me the human dignity of learning my name. It is said that god gives parents a form of prophecy to make sure that the child has the name it should have. In that belief system a person's name can reflect certain attributes that a person has, and give insight into a person's inner workings. there are 276 million Americans who believe that names are a reflection of their owner. So what could be behind the injustice I confront daily and the name terrorism against me?
You might even argue that there really aren't that many people named Micah here, after all there are nearly 8 times as many Hmong tribesmen in the US than people named Micah, You have a better chance of being included in President Bush's troop surge than being named Micah. Well I tell you I really don't know what is behind this affront to my humanity. Even my shrink messes up, he calls me Mee-kuh, which is one of the more common, and more annoying variants, and now I think it is too late to correct him.
This disregard for my name, a name I truly love, and a name which I thank my parents for giving to me, is hurtful. I am proud to go through life with a strong name, a name that symbolizes strength of will, and a desire to do the right thing even when the world around me is crumbling into some kind of decay, be it moral or religious, or radioactive. To have someone throw my Name aside with callous disregard, as though any name more unique than Matt or Jon is not worth learning is one of the worst emotional attacks committed against me. I can say without any shred of false Modesty that I am Micah P Cooper, I am Micah P Cooper, I am Micah P Cooper, I am Micah P Cooper, I am Micah P Cooper. I am proud of my name, I am Micah P Cooper. My name is the Best name, I am Micah P Cooper. That name helped shape the person I am, I am Micah P Cooper. My family gave me that name, I am Micah P Cooper. In the end, all a man has is his name and his deeds, I am Micah P Cooper.
Get it right MotherFucker.

I love drugs

I love drugs, I always have, since the first hit of a joint to the last drink. Sure there have been certain drugs that I did not tolerate well, and I don't really like to get "tore up", but I enjoy a nice mellow buzz. That's why I was so pleased when I recently received a prescription for a drug that had some nice side effects (or is affects, no it is effects). The best side effect was that this drug was a sedative. Sedatives are great, they make you sleepy, but if you don't go right to sleep they can make loopy. This new drug had another side effect, it made me groggy in the morning, and my body produces enough of that naturally so I don't need a boost of grogginess anytime of the day. That is why this drug is making me sad, I feel like I have been let down by something I love. Once drugs turn their back on you, you know you have really hit rock bottom. So if anybody has a great new drug you think I would like let me know.

A new commitment

I know I haven't been ver good about writing the blog the last couple of weeks, but I am making a commitment to write a new blog post at least three times a week until April, and after that it should get back to almost everyday. Thanks for reading.

10 key typing

Standard telephones and cell phones have a 10 key numeric keypad, while many modern smart phones and even some "dumb phones" have a QWERTY style keypad which makes text input (typing) much easier. For the next couple me months I will be using a cell phone with a traditional 10 key numeric keypad. This will make composing blog posts more difficult, but I love my readers so I will endure this hardship for you. Also the train can be boring and I like to write on the train
Sent from the 4 train at Brooklyn Bridge/ City Hall station

A tasty treat

The tasty treat I am talking about is of course this blog. I know I have not been updating the blog as much as I should have, and for that I am truly sorry. I told you that my normal blogging machine was on the fritz, and the one I got to temporarily replace it is not quite up to the job.

Today I finally got my new desk assembled and put my laptop on it to test it out. so this will be one of the rare blog posts made in the comfort of my writing room, here in my glamorous penthouse deluxe apartment. The desk is beautiful by the way, it is a standard cherry wood affair, with the addition of a matching 3 compartment hutch that is really handsome.
Another tasty treat is Ramen noodles. I love ramen noodles, from the crappy American Top Ramen, to the Japanese Sapporo Ichban, to the exotic Korean Nong Shim. I love them, they are delicious and weird, and even the most expensive and crazy foreign ones are really cheap, (though the kosher ones are terrible, and are proof that kosher food companies hate their customers). I came across a website that explored the wonderful world of ramen, and the brick of noodles. look at it here I hope to be doing some more blogging this week, so keep an eye out.

Assy 2000

It's too good to be true. I would have gone through my whole life and not have known something like this could exist, but it does. It really and truly exists. Yesterday I was in the pharmacy and there it was behind the counter, a beacon of the ridiculous. Like the Colossus in the mouth of the harbor of Rhodes, a monument to the absurd so immense it cannot be fathomed. One might conjecture that a company would read the name of their produce aloud before releasing it to the market. Alas my friends the makers of the product Assy 2000 paid no heed to the hilarity of the name of their personal care product, they are the kind of person that says definitions be damned. Good for them,if I one day decide to make a hand cream called Suckwad ultracare I will have the Assy company to thank as my inspiration. It's so sad that it has such an awesome name, but at the same time, I hope I never have an opportunity to buy it. Man I just can't catch a break.

Dedicated to the memory of my friend Jesse