I have a serious problem

It seems like everyday I am faced with difficult decisions. Today I didn't really have any worries, anything to decide. I almost made it to the end of the day. I was just watching TV for a couple of minutes before going to bed when I was faced with the physical manifestation of a nightmare.
I have a straight guy crush on Hugh Grant. He is so charming and foppish, he is disarming and his sheepish English suaveness is completely disarming. Without sounding too crazy, he is everything I would look for in a wife. You know, if he were a women, and maybe South African (but that is a whole other topic). Well the last thing I saw was a commercial for his new movie. You might think that I would be happy and buying my tickets to see it as we speak, but there is a problem, a big problem.
My least favorite person in the movie business since movies were first contemplated by Thomas Edison nearly 150 years ago is an actress I affectionately call Rotten Meat Face. That's right the dreaded Josie Grossy, I can barely bring myself to write her name. Okay here we go... Drew Barrymore. She is awful, she is all sweetness and light wrapped around the body of a 35 year old woman pretending to be 19. She is awful, and not as in full of awe, but as in making me want to barf.
This is some conundrum I have gotten myself into; how can I reconcile the amazingly wonderful actor who starred such cinematic materpieces as "The Englishman Who Went Up A hill and Came Down A Mountain", "About A Boy", and "two Weeks Notice"(Every one an Oscar worthy performance) with a hussy, a trashy, garbage lady famous for dreck like "poison ivy" and "charlie's angels 2: full throttle" and the original piece of silver screen feces that earned her my disdain "never been kissed". I hope you can appreciate what a difficult position I am in. I don't think I will rest very well until I make peace with this cinematic travesty. It is a celluloid Titanic. I had built a mental Maginot line against Drew Barrymore, and that harlot just strolled across The Ardennes. I pray that god gives me the strength to make the right decision. Please pray for me, and may god have mercy on my soul.

Sent via wireless device from my own private hell