A dash of style

I was cruising the internet the other day, and I came a cross a list of "50 ways to be a better writer". Now since I do a little writing I am of course interested in being a better writer.
There are two points on that list that I would like to discuss. The first point is something that I have always struggled with, and that it, using to many commas, and using them in inappropriate places. I have no idea what the rules for using comas are, so I have made up my own, which I think are much better than the real rules for coma use (I just assume since like I already said, I don't know what those rules are).
The second style point on the list I would like to talk about is the use of hyperbole. The person who put together that list said you should avoid the use of hyperbole. This is probably the worst thing that has ever been recorded since the first use of writing 5,000 years ago. This bothered me on several levels. On one level I was bugged by the demarcation between hyperbole, and run of the mill exaggeration. But on a much deeper level I was concerned that the list maker, whom I call captain jerkface, doesn't allow for a bombastic writing style that matches my ego and psyche. If I try to convey not just my ideas through writing, but also a sense of who I am, then how is someone with a large than life personality (like me) supposed to accomplish that with out hyperbole? For the love of god I ask you, how? Sure if you have the personality of a piece of toast that isn't a problem, but when you are Micah P Cooper, it is just impossible.

Sent via wireless device from my couch