Shoot Me

I had a truly remarkable experience yesterday, here are my remarks about it. Though my job is unrelated to the industry, I work in the fashion district. That is a market segment where you might expect to find quite a few nice looking people. Well on my way to lunch yesterday I was waiting for the elevator when it happened. The elevator arrived. Ding. The doors opened and standing in front of me was an elevator full of models, but not just any models blond Nordic models. It was awesome. Fucking awesome. But it gets better.
They started getting out, but only about half of them then I got on, and then the models that had gotten off the elevator decided they were on the wrong floor and proceeded to get back on. So there I was, in the middle of this throng of heavenly beauties. Do you know how smooth I was in that situation? As smooth as I always am when confronted with truly amazingly beautiful women, I was as smooth as chunky peanut butter, with all the grace of a drunk seven-toed hobo. Why do I say that, because the only thing I managed to say was...nothing. I was completely dumbstruck for like 20 minutes, I couldn't speak at all, long after I had left the elevator. Man I gotta work on my game. Just another example of how being religious was a terrible mistake. I haven't tried to put the moves on anyone seriously in like 3 years, my lady killer skills have totally atrophied. My charm is withering on the vine, all I have left is the ability to charm old ladies, and that isn't very hard at all, even Johnny5 can do that, and he is barely human. I have to start exercising my charm. Wish me luck, if all goes well I should be experiencing a long hot summer of debauchery.
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