A personal loss

As many of you know I am poverty stricken. I basically live like a hobo, riding the rails nonstop, first to work, then to school, then home. Home is supposed to be a refuge from the terrible monotony of the world, but not for me, because all I have time to do when I get home is some homework assigned by some masochist on a power trip and then straight to bed. But even my bed is an affront to the dignity every man deserves. Why is that? Because I don't have the luxury of a real bed, instead I sleep on an air mattress. All that separates me from sleeping on the ground is a thin layer of plastic surrounding about 12 inches of air. That is until last night, last night something broke inside my bed and it turned into a football shaped torture device. Then today I managed with the help of my family to arrange a replacement, and when I got home around 11 and went about inflating my new bed I got a pleasant surprise, this new mattress is at least 6 inches thinner than the previous dignity robbing mattress. Fuck. I can't even go to sleep in a room by myself without being emasculated and demoralized. Do you know how fucking unmotivating it is waking up eye to eye with your shoes? This is as good as things are going to get. It does not motivate me to continue.